First Church of Americhrist

Dear Evangelicals:

Is there anything more American than this?

Although He would not be proven right until much later, Jesus nicknamed James and John "Sons of thunder".

What did they do in the wake of this powerful naming ceremony (For, it is always powerful, and carries more than a hint of ceremony, when someone names you)?

Depending on who's doing the reporting, they either pestered Jesus -- or, had their mommy do it -- to award them the most powerful positions in the coming kingdom.

Like I said, is there anything more American?

And then, Jesus showed them just how this boss thing is done.

First, He declined to wrest from His boss the authority to promote these manly specimens.

Then, He told J and J in front of everyone, that the only way they'd ever rise that high would be by serving their inferiors -- the same way He was about to do.

Burnnnn!

It got worse. Jesus said, You know those people you won't even look in the eye because they're so unclean? Well, you just asked for the same kind of "authority" they have. 

And He was more than a little bit cheesed off (Verse 41).

Jesus could have ended the discussion there, but He's Christ, not Americhrist, so he waited until the time was right. And then, He showed them exactly what He meant.

Knowing He was going to die, He ate dinner with the twelve. When they were finished, He stripped, put a towel around Himself, and ... wait for it ... proceeded to wash the disciples' feet.

These were not feet that had been encased in first-quality walking shoes and moisture-wicking socks. No, they were feet shod in cheap, homemade sandals. Feet that had transported them everywhere they went on land. Rough, callused, perhaps diseased ... feet. (John 13:1-17 New King James Version)

Notice how Jesus drove the point home in verses 15-17, "For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them."

Then, He went out; prayed and ugly-cried in some community garden; then, let Himself be arrested, assaulted, subjected to a show trial, and crucified.

Like a boss.

Where Hate Lives

Dear Evangelicals:

Today, we're accustomed to thinking of hate as an emotion exclusive to the fringes. Hate isn't in us; it's in white nationalists, ISIS, and all those liberals who, uh, scorn biblical teachings by shunning those who think being queer is a sin.

You know how I feel about that last item, so let's talk about the notion that hate is not a first-world problem, that it's not a Christian problem. Truth is, hate runs rampant throughout the Christian community -- left, right, and center.

Even the social justice warriors on the left, the millennials who swore they wouldn't become their parents, fall victim to hate. And why?

Because they worship Americhrist above all else.

Just like their parents, these left-leaning Americhristians chase fame, recognition, and status to the exclusion of all else. Just like their parents, they talk a good game, but are rarely -- if ever -- found in the trenches (Children can't change their religious affiliations? Thoughts and prayers 💗🎈🌈.) And, just like their parents, the new wave of Americhristians will cut you dead if you don't beat the drum for their latest project.

Whether you like it or not, that's hate.

About Jesus, John said, "He must increase while I must decrease." About us, Jesus said, "“Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I’m leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels. This isn’t, you realize, pie in the sky by and by. Some who have taken their stand right here are going to see it happen, see with their own eyes the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:23-27, MSG),

If you withhold liberating, biblical truth from others because telling it would require you to decrease; if you are the focus of all your efforts, you're more about hate than love.

Sooner or later, Somebody's gonna notice.

Oppression Is Really Depressing

• Dear Evangelicals:

Ecclesiastes is pretty depressing. No, scratch that; Ecclesiastes is hugely depressing.

What's even more depressing is the way you choose, daily, to join up with the oppressors instead of siding with the oppressed.

There are other books in the Bible where God makes plain the consequences to those who cheer on the oppressors and pile on the oppressed; Jeremiah and Ezekiel come immediately to mind. Those books are depressing, too.

In Matthew 7:13-14, Jesus says:

"Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it."

If, by some weird mischance, you think siding with the oppressors counts as the narrow way (because you're perverse and stubborn like that), go on with your bad selves. It's more than likely you won't see where it gets you until you're on your deathbed.

You know the most depressing thing of all? Some of you are counting on it.

Open Your Mouth

Dear Evangelicals:

Funny thing about you: Invariably, the only reason you open your mouths is to put something in them. If you're speaking up at all, it's for yourselves and the imagined oppression you're going through. Not being able to pray in school is not does not count as oppression.

If you're slightly more evolved, you're speaking up for the oppressed, but only as long as they're living on the other side of the world. Only as long as all you have to do is send money. God forbid you should have to take a risk. God forbid you should have to open your mouth for someone whose religion, ethnicity, gender identity, financial situation, or disability will embarrass you in front of your powerful friends and colleagues.

Only, God doesn't forbid it. He commands it, with no exceptions.

If you don't look out, He'll put you in a position where your very life and health depend on someone speaking up for you. But, don't believe me; ask Christians who've been through it. Seriously, go ahead; I'm right here. All you have to do is comment on this post.

Cooties and the Scales of Justice

Dear Evangelicals:

What. Is. Wrong. With. YOU?

Have you honestly never read the following passage in the Bible?

"I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.
 
"For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 

"But those who are outside God judges. Therefore 'put away from yourselves the evil person.'" (1 Corinthians 5:9-13, NKJV)

Oh, it's in there, all right. Yet you persist in doing exactly the opposite. You judge non-believers like there's a reward for it, yet leave professing Christians to commit the most heinous crimes imaginable, rallying 'round when someone actually dares to call Christian sinners to account.

Another thing -- and hang on to your hats because we're about to get intellectual up in here -- the subtext of this verse damns you all the more. 

The subtext is what the apostle Paul says without saying it. You'd have to go out of the world to avoid sinners who don't profess Christianity, he says, and his implication is that we cannot and should not go out of the world. In fact, Jesus said to go into all the world (You know: Great Commission. I'll let you Google it).

So when (gasp!) an unbeliever asks you to hang out or -- heaven forfend! -- offers to help you with something, don't be the high-handed jackass who quotes John 15:19 or Romans 12:2. The former is about how the religious establishment would feel about you if you were really following Jesus. The latter is about your behavior; not the behavior of non-believers.

Non-believers don't have some sort of spiritual cooties. And you don't have the authority to either judge them or spurn them. Get right with God!

Oh (spit take), that's what non-believers are supposed to do? Well, let me send you off with a quote from Frederick Buechner to help clarify just exactly who non-believers are:

"Many an atheist is a believer without knowing it just as many a believer is an atheist without knowing it. You can sincerely believe there is no God and live as though there is. You can sincerely believe there is a God and live as though there isn't."

Which camp do you fall into?

The Evangelical Justification For American Fascism

Dear Evangelicals:

Yeah, you've seen this meme. It's usually used to encourage less-than-perfect people like you and me to do God's work. But recently, Franklin Graham, whose 2015 salary was $880,000.00  (Check the 'poor and needy' tag to see how God feels about that, uh, weakness) cited that meme in defense of Donald Trump.

In case you missed it, Graham has endorsed Trump for president. Graham waved away concerns about Trump's hateful agenda with a few examples -- David and Moses, to be specific -- from this meme.

There's just one problem: Neither David nor Moses were committing the sins of adultery and anger (Graham cited Moses' anger issues) when they were granted authority over Israel.

Of David, God famously said he was "a man after My own heart." The Bible also says that God spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to a friend.

Check the 'poor and needy' tag again. Do you really think that Donald Trump is a friend of God, or a man after God's own heart?

Tell the Truth

Dear Evangelicals:

This quote has huge implications for your ministry. If you don't come clean, you can't possibly heal anyone else.

Of course, if you're just in it to tell other people what they're doing wrong, carry on. See where that gets you on Judgment Day.

What Would Jesus Say About the Distortion Of His Teachings?

What Would Jesus Say About the Distortion Of His Teachings?

Dear Evangelicals:

This article from The Huffington Post will surprise you, and just might suggest a new mission field to those of you who are really concerned about following Jesus' teachings.

I have never heard anyone say what Bernard Starr says here about the alarming disconnect between the teachings of Christianity -- and Judaism and Islam, for that matter -- and the actions of their adherents. This is mind-bending, life-changing stuff.

The Full Menu

Dear Evangelicals:

In Matthew 20:25-28 (NKJV), Jesus says this:

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave ^-- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

Yet you bow down before idiots, thieves, and deviants, and expect baby Christians to bow down before you. 

When he wrote that quote up there, Bishop Tutu was thinking like Jesus thinks. Jesus died so we all could and would be treated the way Bishop Tutu rightly demands to be treated in that quote. If you're not giving and demanding the full menu of human rights, you're just plain wrong.

Love the Work

Dear Evangelicals:

This is the absolute truth, whether we're talking about the work you do for money or the work you do for the Lord.

If you don't love the work you do for money, you need to find a new job.

 If you don't love the work you do for the Lord -- "What work?" I have to wonder about so many of you -- then you need to find a new god.

Theology

Dear Evangelicals:

Ever notice that the only people Jesus talked theology with were the Pharisees and the Sadducees?

My solution for churchy, legalistic, pharasaiacal people is simply to out-church them. If they are excessively digging their Bible study, I am hearing from God directly. See what I did there? One-upmanship. Trust me, it scares them away every time.

If you're a non-Christian who's chanced upon this blog ... well, it helps -- if you're going to do battle with overbearing, self-proclaimed Christians -- to know the Bible. That said, I realize Bible study can bring up past traumas for some of you.

So, what do you do?

This quote suggests that you can save somebody -- without a lick of theology to your credit. Help the hungry, the homeless, widows, and orphans, the poor and the oppressed. Not with political donations, which are the non-religious equivalent to theology, but by getting off your butt and getting your hands dirty. Volunteer in a place where the poor and oppressed will reap the benefits of your charity immediately.

You do that, and you'll be a better Christian than the obnoxious theologian.

Everywhere You Look

Dear Evangelicals:

This focus of yours on "the" Antichrist has got to stop. There's not just one; there are many, and they are among you.

It's hard not to sound spooky, apocalyptic, and self-important when I say that, so here's the deal:

It's not complicated. Anyone who is actively pretending to be Christ, a savior, your savior, while thinking, doing, and saying things Christ never thought, did, or said, is an antichrist. Keep that capitalization intact. Let's not make one antichrist more important than any other.

After all, if you can't identify the lowercase ones, you won't know what hit you when the uppercase one comes along. And that is exactly the point. You don't get to stagger around in fear and ignorance, pointing fingers at the "Antichrist", desperately calling attention to yourself and saying, "This is Christianity" without having smarter, less gullible people call you out for your nonsense.

You should be ashamed that non-Christians do a better job of rooting out antichrists than you ever have. You should be ashamed that non-Christians look more like Jesus' disciples than you do, all because they follow His instructions to "Love one another".

A Time To Mourn -- Really

Dear Evangelicals:

So, it's unbiblical, unmerciful, and un-Christian to be upbeat and happy and "positive" all the time.

Oh. You didn't know that? Well, now ya do.

Stop tryna minimize and deny people's pain. Stop saying God "meant this for good". No, God did NOT mean bad for good; He simply let rotten people make their own decisions about how to behave. And rotten people behave badly -- most of the time.

That's all there is to it. Stop distorting Scripture to make yourself look as though you're bathed in light. Light can tell the difference, and believe me, Light is not real fond of you right now.

On second thought, don't believe me. Ask Jesus Himself.

Riffraff

Dear Evangelicals:

How biblically-illiterate to you have to be?

Jesus did not call us to hang out with "our own kind".

Cage Fight: Justice vs. Karma

Dear Evangelicals:

Isn't it strange that the Bible says this, while you say that the weak, the fatherless, the afflicted, and the destitute are in the mess they're in because they weren't living right?

No, the weak, the fatherless, the afflicted, and the destitute are in the mess they're in because you won't give them justice.

And you wonder why everybody seems to be turning on you in this election cycle.

Counsel For the Defense

Dear Evangelicals:

If there's something you should be talking about, it's this -- not yourself.

I Was A Stranger and You Took Me In

Dear Evangelicals:

As you regular Bible readers know, that's not exactly how Jesus puts it in Matthew 25. But it is exactly how they operate in the San Francisco Bay Area.

"I was a stranger and you" ... took me in, conned me, played me for a fool worked the ole bait and switch on me.

Is this what life should look like in a city that built its modern reputation on peace and love? Is this what life should look like in a city where hippie icon, Wavy Gravy, used to feed the homeless?

Ah, Northern California, where they talk blue and walk red.

And you, evangelicals? Is this what life in your city looks like? In your church?

What does the Bible tell you about that?

A History of White Delusion

A History of White Delusion

Dear Evangelicals:

At left is Dr. Brian Williams, the Dallas, Texas trauma surgeon who fought valiantly to save the lives of the police officers who were gunned down in Dallas just a couple of weeks ago.

Dr. Williams is a man who pays the tab for police in restaurants on a regular basis, even though, during so-called routine traffic stops, he is spread-eagled on his car, and otherwise abused. But all you can talk about is how you're stifled by affirmative action. In fact, fully half of you say that white discrimination is a huge problem.

The statistics cited in this article show that the opposite is true, that blacks in this country face overwhelming prejudice, despite affirmative action, despite Barack Obama's history-making presidency, despite the fact that the Bible commands Christians to weep with those who weep, and refuse to set our minds on high things, like our "rights".

And all you can do is complain about how bad you have it. Not too Christlike, is it?

Have you really lost sight of what Christ's sacrifice means to you -- if you ever knew in the first place?

For those who still have a dim memory of the cataclysmic changes His sacrifice worked in your lives, is it really so hard to imagine how you could change the lives of black folks for the better by your own sacrifice? Is it really so hard to imagine that that's what Jesus meant by dying -- and coming back to life?

There's a message in there somewhere, evangelicals, if you'd only hear it.

When Love Is A Foreign Language

Dear Evangelicals:

Sam Vaknin nails it when he says that, to narcissists, acceptance, care, and love are "a foreign language" that "is meaningless or even repellent."

Have you ever tried to minister to someone, digging down deep to overwhelm them with sacrificial love, only to feel completely drained, and eventually bitter and resentful, when they get worse instead of better?

If so, you've been the victim of a narcissist.

So often, we're told that love begets love, and it's true, most of the time. The narcissist, however, turns the laws of the universe upside down and inside out. They are the ultimate idolaters; they are hard-hearted self-worshipers, and there is nothing you can do to convert them to Christianity.

Do you see now, how vital it is to ask God about everything you are doing?

Even Paul acknowledged that there were God-defined limits to his ministry, that he wasn't supposed to try and save everyone. Who are we to be any less humble and willing to be led?