It never, never, never ends: Just before lunch today, I learned that a male friend is being sexually assaulted on a regular basis by a "friend" of his who is also a colleague, a preacher, a sex addict, and married to a woman while living a not-so-secret life as a homosexual, regularly having sexual encounters outside of marriage.
Lord, have mercy.
My friend is regularly subject to exhibitionism by this ... man of God.
The thing is, thanks to afternoon talk shows, laypeople now think they're experts in everything. Nobody recognizes exhibitionism as sexual assault -- especially Christians.
The Bible holds the opposite view. The Bible tells us that the marriage bed should be undefiled (Hebrews 13:4); that God desires to present the church as a "chaste virgin" to Christ (II Corinthians 11:2); that anything "that defiles, or causes an abomination or a lie" will not be permitted into the Kingdom of Heaven. (Revelation 21:27) All the averting of one's eyes doesn't erase the sins this preacher so flagrantly commits -- and my friend has become an expert at averting his eyes.
Given all that, we Christians need to be sure we're neither perpetrating nor tacitly permitting sexual assault, don't you agree? We need to be sure of exactly what constitutes sexual assault.
Thank God, then, for Justin and Lindsay Holcomb, authors of Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault. Their definition of sexual assault is as revolutionary as it is informed: Justin is an Episcopal priest, and Lindsay counsels victims of sexual assault. Here's how these two recognized experts define sexual assault:
"... [A]ny type of sexual behavior or contact where consent is not freely given or obtained and is accomplished through force, intimidation, violence, coercion, manipulation, threat, deception, or abuse of authority."
Where it should be ahead of the curve, the church is lagging behind. This definition -- if not this whole book -- should be required reading for every Christian. Compassion should be required of every Christian, but no. In Christian culture, God's laws are only for the victims, while the perpetrators are the beneficiaries of boundless grace.
I can't force any of you to change your minds, but I can warn you of this: Since 1996, when I had a web site enabling abuse survivors to take political action at state and federal levels, I have stood up for the rights of the victims of physical, sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse. I will continue to do so here, and on my other two blogs when and if the situation warrants.
I don't have to ask myself, "What Would Jesus Do?"; it's right there in the Book.
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